News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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