Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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