they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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