you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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