I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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