i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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