I heard we made out
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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