Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
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It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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