You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
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Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
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The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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