when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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