You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
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the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
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I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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