so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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