your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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