I hope mine doesn't look like that
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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