mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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