I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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