READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize