wakey wakey hands off snakey
I faked an abortion last night.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
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Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
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You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I party with great urgency now.
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