I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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