Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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