I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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