He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
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I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
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I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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