This is not my ceiling
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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