I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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