Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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