Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
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I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
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I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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