You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize