Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize