I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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