i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
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I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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