come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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