I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize