I'm gonna have a badass scar
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize