I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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