remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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