I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize