My nipple is on Facebook.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
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I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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