Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
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3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
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Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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