i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
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My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
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If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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