Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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