u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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