So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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