I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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