in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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