she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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