She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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