He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize