I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
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I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
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I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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