Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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