I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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