took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize