Define "chronic" masturbator.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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