That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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